The Trouble with Looking Back

Now the Lord had said to Abram:

"Get out of your country, 

From Your family, 

And from your Father's house, 

To a land I will show you.

I will make you a great nation;

I will bless you

And make your name great;

And you shall be a blessing.

I will bless those who bless you, 

And I will curse those you curse you;

And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed."

These days I've been looking back a lot. I've been thinking on the past. Who would ever think that a season of life could become a crutch? But, He said it there to me at the sink, in the midst of the messy everyday, hands covered in soapy grace, "You can NEVER be who you ARE, if you cling to who you WERE."

Side Note: It's hilarious that my most profound thoughts happen at the sink… I guess it's my homemade version of the brazen laver, except mine's stainless steel, and crusty with food.. But God can speak whenever or wherever He wants to… *wink* No the matter, I'm listening, Lord.

Where was I?? Oh yeah, the words that dropped in me like a pebble, but that created quite a ripple in my spirit.

Simple instruction to just let go of the past, and not look back. That 's proving to be harder than it sounds. I'm learning that it's only in the uncomfortable place of now, that  you long for comfort of then. They say hindsight is 20/20. Man, are they right. Who wouldn't want to look back on the places they've been and marvel?

But, who knew that it would be so difficult to not "cling to" the person I was, in all of her glory, in the remembering? Littered with moments of greatness revealed, and many places of wonder, filled with the thrill of adventure and unknown. I remember the feeling of anticipation that filled my heart many a day… "God's going to do something great in me, I just know it"…

Wow. Good times. Thank you Jesus. But, that was then…

Now, don't get me wrong. It’s not that I think that God's finished with His majestic work in me.  On the contrary, I see a new horizon appearing in front of me, and I am eager to see all that God has in this season. But, it's just that… to see this life and season as the unfolding grace gift that it is, I MUST LIVE IN THE PRESENT. That's why it's called the present, right?

So, the new heart song I'm singing: "God IS doing something great in AND THROUGH me, today."

Three simple words - USE.  ME. LORD. Though, tethered to a heart full of other emotions and thoughts and songs, the foundation is the same.  USE. ME. LORD.

And I believe He IS.

With each day, the Lord is reminding me that I AM MORE than just Tater, Stephie & Mia's mom (although, on most days, that's all consuming) -- but I AM HIS DAUGHTER. And that is INFINITELY more weighty than even the glory that comes with motherhood.

I get the unique opportunity, as a King's daughter, to stand bearing I AM within me.

Just let that sink in.

I AM LIVES WITHIN.

Who are you, doubt, fear, confusion, to seek refuge in a place where I AM makes HIS abode? Two words for you.

NO. VACANCY.

So, as I press my ear to the Father's heart today, I hear His voice...

 "Come to me. It is well.  You are destined for greatness, because I AM great, and I AM within you. You bear My Glory. You are Mine. Walk in Me, today, daughter. In My Presence, your joy is made full. Stay close."