Update: Big Man Tater's Airway

It's been several months since we've needed our nebulizer and albuterol for Big Man Tater. And I have been more than thrilled.  Enter disclaimer: remember when I said that we weren't going to beat ourselves up for using conventional methods if we felt like the need warranted it? Well, that day came three days ago.

Wednesday morning, our big guy was just fine, but by the evening, he had developed a cough. As a busy mom, with 3 little's under five, our house is crazy on MOST days, so I didn't really notice any change in his breathing until that evening. Mind you, we've had colds until now, and our handy stash of oils have kept the invaders to a minimum for him.

My first mistake was not having the necessary oils on hand to apply EARLY and OFTEN, and nip it in the bud. My Thieves supply was severely LOW. Shame... :( So, I had to turn to others, which worked, but because every person's body chemistry is different, some oils don't work as well as others for the same need.

I used what I had, but not what I needed. And, I watched Big Man's cough get drier and drier overnight, and by the next morning, we were dealing with the dreaded reactive airway... again. Not sure what that is? Think asthma symptoms that go from non-existent to acute within 12-24 hours. NOT. FUN.

And, so hesitantly, we pulled out the nebulizer until I could get my hands on an oil to help my guy. And immediate relief covered me as I heard my guy beginning to take deeper and deeper breaths. His airways were opening up. Temporarily. I knew that I only had a short amount of time to get my hands on something that could provide as much relief as the albuterol had.

At this point, my brain kicked in, and I remembered that my good friend, and YL enroller, might have something in her arsenal that would be helpful. So, I picked up the phone... dialed, praying. She answered. After a short conversation, she mentioned that she had just ordered a "Breathe Again" roll-on, and she wasn't sure why because none of her family suffers with asthma. But, it had JUST come in.

I begged her for it :) ... she obliged, and within hours, I met her to pick up the newest members of my oily toolbox. BREATHE AGAIN and EUCALYPTUS BLUE.

My friend also contacted one of her friends, who just happens to live right around the corner from me (in my neighborhood), and she brought me an oily version of vapor rub. Among all the chaos, I did another inventory of my oils, and found a tiny sample bottle of Thieves. Yippee!!! So, we got to work.

Yesterday we oiled our big guy throughout the day, both topically, and ran our diffuser (humidifier for oils - AWESOME, btw), during nap time and when he went to bed. And in just one day, I could see a MARKED difference. The cough is still there, but is productive, and  we're not  gasping for breath anymore.

I pinky-promise that my next post will be about Thieves, because now that we're over the hump, it's definitely time to restart our daily Thieves application to build his immune system back up. But, for now, we're happy our little man can breathe.

The Trouble with Looking Back

Now the Lord had said to Abram:

"Get out of your country, 

From Your family, 

And from your Father's house, 

To a land I will show you.

I will make you a great nation;

I will bless you

And make your name great;

And you shall be a blessing.

I will bless those who bless you, 

And I will curse those you curse you;

And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed."

These days I've been looking back a lot. I've been thinking on the past. Who would ever think that a season of life could become a crutch? But, He said it there to me at the sink, in the midst of the messy everyday, hands covered in soapy grace, "You can NEVER be who you ARE, if you cling to who you WERE."

Side Note: It's hilarious that my most profound thoughts happen at the sink… I guess it's my homemade version of the brazen laver, except mine's stainless steel, and crusty with food.. But God can speak whenever or wherever He wants to… *wink* No the matter, I'm listening, Lord.

Where was I?? Oh yeah, the words that dropped in me like a pebble, but that created quite a ripple in my spirit.

Simple instruction to just let go of the past, and not look back. That 's proving to be harder than it sounds. I'm learning that it's only in the uncomfortable place of now, that  you long for comfort of then. They say hindsight is 20/20. Man, are they right. Who wouldn't want to look back on the places they've been and marvel?

But, who knew that it would be so difficult to not "cling to" the person I was, in all of her glory, in the remembering? Littered with moments of greatness revealed, and many places of wonder, filled with the thrill of adventure and unknown. I remember the feeling of anticipation that filled my heart many a day… "God's going to do something great in me, I just know it"…

Wow. Good times. Thank you Jesus. But, that was then…

Now, don't get me wrong. It’s not that I think that God's finished with His majestic work in me.  On the contrary, I see a new horizon appearing in front of me, and I am eager to see all that God has in this season. But, it's just that… to see this life and season as the unfolding grace gift that it is, I MUST LIVE IN THE PRESENT. That's why it's called the present, right?

So, the new heart song I'm singing: "God IS doing something great in AND THROUGH me, today."

Three simple words - USE.  ME. LORD. Though, tethered to a heart full of other emotions and thoughts and songs, the foundation is the same.  USE. ME. LORD.

And I believe He IS.

With each day, the Lord is reminding me that I AM MORE than just Tater, Stephie & Mia's mom (although, on most days, that's all consuming) -- but I AM HIS DAUGHTER. And that is INFINITELY more weighty than even the glory that comes with motherhood.

I get the unique opportunity, as a King's daughter, to stand bearing I AM within me.

Just let that sink in.

I AM LIVES WITHIN.

Who are you, doubt, fear, confusion, to seek refuge in a place where I AM makes HIS abode? Two words for you.

NO. VACANCY.

So, as I press my ear to the Father's heart today, I hear His voice...

 "Come to me. It is well.  You are destined for greatness, because I AM great, and I AM within you. You bear My Glory. You are Mine. Walk in Me, today, daughter. In My Presence, your joy is made full. Stay close."

Two ARE Better...

Okay… it's confession time.

It's been 8 days since my last post. I know, I know. I didn't say I was the MOST consistent person on the planet.  *wink*

One would think that for someone who is trying to break into the "blog-o-sphere", an 8 day writing vacation would not be the smartest way to do it.

Thankfully for me, that's NOT what this call to blog is about. What this IS about is an intentional unveiling of the "skin" I wear on a daily basis, that keeps me separated from the community God has placed around me. The daily choice to connect myself "again" with others. To be a part of the wall. Because honestly, we are ALL a part of the Wall. And, we all have others God has placed around us to encourage us, and keep us sharp.

Case in point: Yesterday, I was approached by one such "wall woman", who gently rebuked me for taking an 8 day leave of absence from writing, because she was intentional on reading my thoughts everyday, and was missing them.

She reminded me that what I have to say is important, and that even on the days when nothing is leaping from my heart to the page, the connection between myself and others MUST TAKE PLACE no matter what my life looks like, or the distractions that may pull.

I was reading a post from http://www.incourage.me the other day, and here's what jumped out at me:


"I used to think I needed to be more before I could do more.

This is a lie.

God wants you today, right where you are, with what you have. He isn't waiting for you to clean up your mess before you say yes.

Your yes matters. And the best part is size doesn't matter. Your small yes to God is enough." 

~Kristen Welch (www.wearethatfamily.com)


Man, that hit me like a ton of bricks. My yes, even a small yes, is enough to change my whole world.

So… today, I'm saying YES. Again... yes. Yes to the call to be transparent. Because that's what this is REALLY all about. It's God's way of showing me that NO one person has it all together (although us ladies try hard sometimes to do just that) and that He NEVER meant for any person to be an island.


And, today, I am saying THANK YOU. Thank you to the WALL of women who have allowed me into their lives, to call me friend. Sister. You know who you are. You, who are courageous enough to look past the "rough" places in me, and get to know me. You, who have learned that the "tough" that others see is just a protective layer, and that a truly malleable heart lies within.

I am truly thankful for the encouragement God has placed in my life because of You. You lift me up. You keep me sharp. You challenge me to live as He has called me to live, and not succumb to what this world says I should look or act like. You have been INVALUABLE to me.

So, for all of the wonder you bring to my life, and this world, I count YOU as gifts. I truly would not be who I am today without you.

Ecclesiastes 4:9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor.

Outside the Lines

This morning proved to be interesting. I was in the kitchen, working on a batch of yummy grain & nut pancakes, when I heard my husband call out to my son, "What are you doing?" I assure you, those are NOT words any mamma wants to hear at 9:30 in the morning. I'm glad I took a sec to gather myself before I rounded the corner, because I wasn't prepared to see the masterpiece my son had created.

 It's not like we haven't provided him with a space to freely express his creativity, and with many different mediums. And I must say, for a 4 year old, he's become a little artist, who is quite skilled in his creations. *proud mamma* However, I guess, something in his little mind decided that it was time to expand his repertoire to include carpet art. Yep. Crayon. Meet Carpet.

Had I thought to take a picture of it before I scrubbed it up, (because who wants a rainbow in crayon in the middle of their floor), I could have shown you the detail and intention  that he had put into this creation. I must confess that, afterward, I felt kind of bad for disciplining him for inappropriate coloring.  Wow... inappropriate coloring. 

This is a place of struggle for me, lately.  I've surrendered my Tater to the Lord on several occasions, asking Him to please fix the MANY mistakes I've made (already) in the parenting of my son. He is, without a doubt, a strong willed child. And, while I want to ensure that He learns to obey (especially the Lord), I don't want to break His spirit, and cause him to be afraid to stand up for himself when the opportunity presents itself. And in this age, that's a certainty.

So, where's the line? When did coloring outside of the lines become a bad thing?. Even in preschool, learning rudimentary skills include tracing and coloring pages. And while every mom wants their children to learn to read and write, I can't help wondering why technique must be learned at the expense of creativity. I just don't want my son's voice to be stifled. He was built to create. To wonder.  

How do I know? Because we all were. And, he has my genes in him. I remember my mother telling me the story about a stubborn little girl who just had to find out what Kool-aid would look like if it were mixed into carpet. Yep.  It seems  that as a budding artist, I had a passion for carpet art as well. Apparently, my son is more like me than I thought.

So, today I am thanking the Lord for reproducing passion and courage to color outside of the lines within my children, and the reminding me that He IS able to do exceedingly abundantly above all I can ask or think , according to the power that works in me.  ~ Ephesians 3:20

All I have to do is pick up my crayon. 

When I get where I'm going...

"Put away from thee a froward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee. Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee. Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established. Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil."  

Proverbs 4:24-27

I have been guilty of wresting your Word, Lord. And I don't want to anymore. I want the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart to be pleasing to you.

Help me to see that you have ordered my path, and find never ending joy as I discover the things that you have planned for me in the walking out of this path that is life. 

When I committed to this writing journey, my intention wasn't to be funny, or to tell a story, or even to present an "image of myself" that others could admire. It was to intentionally tear down the walls I build around myself on a daily basis. To choose not to be an island. To live in community. To share Joy.

Why? Because you created community. And on the paths you've ordained for me, I NEVER walk alone. Even, when I feel like it's just me, there's always You. You never leave. I'm thankful for that.

So, today I'm pondering the paths of my feet, wondering why it has taken me so long to to admit that it's okay to be loud, and evangelistic, and unwavering. Qualities that make up who I am as a person. But, there are times when even loud people need to find quiet, when even the passionately persuasive need to listen to another perspective, and when the unwavering need the ability to be flexible.

The paths of my feet are ordered by You, and You delight in my way. You delight in the steps you've planned for me. Even the hard places. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. even in this place, You help me remember that, though death is present, it's Your light that casts a shadow, and who ever said that death in the light of Your presence was a bad thing? After all, if any man would see Your face, he must die. 

So let me die... as I walk with You, the Shepherd of my Soul, let me die to the earthly bonds that seek to be my counselors. Let me hear only Your voice saying, "This is the way, Walk in it." I am the Way. Walk in Me. 

So, today I remember. I walk with you... in You. 

A Joy-filled Heart

It's only mid-January, and my year has already been an eventful one. Only because yesterday was the first of the many Master Plan bible studies scheduled for 2014. And, oh the challenge that comes with allowing words of Jesus to shape you from the inside out. This year should prove to be life-changing.

Among those that have challenged my heart, and my very lifestyle as a child of God are the red words which call me to a life of JOY, no matter what presses me from the outside.

"These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full." - John 15:11 emphasis added

 There it is. Those words that shout His intention for the condition of my heart. But, is it possible to find joy amidst the piles of unfolded laundry? In a house that's "not nearly clean enough" (a story for another time...)? In the busy-ness that meets me as soon as my feet hit the floor in the morning? Dare I say yes? Yes. Lord, please.

It's in these places that I am reminded that it's not even MY joy that I house, it's HIS. The Joy of Jesus. And further, His Word is what fuels HIS JOY inside me. What a gift. That in the midst of this life, in what I often see as overwhelming (and even disappointing at times), He speaks and creates joy that can fill a soul.

Father, 

   Forgive me for foolishly believing that Joy comes by any other means

than by Your Word. Open my ears to hear You speaking, and cause my heart to 

to open the JOY that fills every moment.

Thank you for Joy, Lord.

Amen.